I recently attended a funeral for a very nice man who left this earth much to soon at the age of 49. I hate to attend funerals, and do not go to many because I just hate the whole atmosphere. I hate to hear the people who have come to pay there last respects, sit around and chuckle at the gossip of the week, I especially hate it when I hear them standing around the coffin, touching the cold hand of the dead and say " Wow, doesn't he or she look good?"I am sorry guys, Absolutely no one looks good when they are dead. The skin is so cold and the person who is dead has lost all color, and is deadly pale. For heavens sakes, the person who has died, who is laying in a coffin ,in front of all those who loved him,or her, does not look good. How could the person look good? They are dead and death is the one thing in life that we cannot control and cannot change because we are all going to die. I am sure that no one goes to bed at night thinking about death, People who die surely do not wake up in the morning planning to die, as we do not ever know when our number is up, and usually do not know that we are going to die.I have NEVER, seen a good looking dead person. Death is a final step that we must all experience in our lifetime. I am not going to know when it is going to happen to me so I am not going to be ready to look my best, I do not want my family or the friends who love me stand over my coffin saying " Oh doesn't she look good." I will be dead and the people at the funeral home will nine times out of ten, have never known me, or the way I wear my hair, how I do my makeup, what color or style dresses that I liked etc. I will not look good when I am dead,and I do not want people standing over me in death saying that I do.I also think about the burial, in the cold, moist, sometimes wet earth . I, absolutely hate to be cold, or damp, as it makes me miserable, it makes my bones hurt, and I just hate being cold period., and what about the bugs, I do not much like bugs, I know that no matter what, the bugs will find their way to me and chew on my skin, clothing, my hair. I do not like the thought of this.When I do die which I hope is many.many years from now, I hope to be around lots longer to aggravate the people in my life, and to finish a lot of things that I have not yet accomplished. I guess when I do die that I want to be sure that I am not in that wood box, with the top open, and my loved ones standing there looking down at me ,and saying that I look good, so I say we should not fuss about me when I die. Put a nice obituary in the newspaper, with a decent photograph of me as I looked before my death, do not forget to mention the survivors that I had to leave behind and my cats, Zoe, Zachary Pierre, Abigail and I suppose Monica Lewinsky if she is still around.I, am afraid of fire also, and hope I cannot feel it when I am cremated, Please do me one last favor,( as I tell my doctor this and she seems not to believe me when I tell her that I enjoy smoking and that when I am getting ready to be toasted, to put one last cigarette in my hand so that I can perhaps smell it one more time.)I am fine with cremation as I do not want a lot of fuss, a funeral service, where people are saying that I look good when I know I won't. The only thing about the cremation is that I do not know what we should do with the ashes, I love the ocean and I have some favorite places that I love in a local park. I really do not want my ashes sprinkled in any of these places as landmarks change,and I do hope that if you come to visit me that you will at least be able to find me.If I go before my husband , I think he should put me in a beautiful urn, beside my photo, on the head of this bed, If he should remarry, that will be fine as long as she is not someone that I knew in life and did not like. If she decides to flush me or to knock me over, and suck me up with the vaccuum cleaner, I promise you that I will be pissed and will come back for revenge if possible.The same goes for the daughter in laws in my life, Do not flush me, or knock me over.if me and my urn happen to end up in your space. Be happy that I cannot speak to you, or give you advice as I am sure that I will be unhappy about being dead, and you possibly would not be happy to hear what I might say.That is my philosophy on my death. Love me when I am alive, send me flowers not in death but in my alive time,so I can actually touch and smell them, and for heavens sake do not knock me over, or flush me away as I, am hoping that I can see and hear all the things that are going on around me, even when I am dead.