I am a very nice person and I like most everyone until they continually do stupid things to piss me off.
I am sure we all know people like my neighbors who do really weird things like watching TV outside on a tiny little patio, underneath my bedroom window, at all hours of the night hooping and hollering and getting louder and louder with each beer they consume. This happens most every weekend not only in summer but when the snow flies as well. It sometimes occurs during the weekdays too. I am all for having a good time but these people do not show any respect for others or themselves. They are people who think the neighborhood belongs to them and maybe, they might be book smart but they have absolutely no common sense.
When they first moved here I tried to be a good neighbor, they continually took advantage of not only me. but everyone else too. I would go out to do errands and their friends would park in my drive and take my parking place and any other that they might find, If I was home they would park behind our cars on the street blocking us in so we could not get out. Again trying to be nice I would put nice notes on their cars to please not block us in or out and take our parking spaces. Now one would think once would be enough, but it continued until I had a book of posty notes that said it over and over and it never stopped until I came back one day to pull into my drive only to find that I was blocked out, from cars parked on the street. I parked in the middle of the road and went knocking on their door and ask that whoever was blocking my drive to please move, the response I got was WHY? I think after I got a bit angry that day, that they took advantage of the other neighbors after that and stopped blocking and taking my parking spaces. Yeah!! It sure took a long time for them to get it, but I shrugged it off and moved on thinking that all was well.
Then one day while my son was home alone, someone knocked at the door and it was the neighbor from outer space holding a rock from our yard (the kind of marble chunks that you use around plants and shrubs) yelling and swearing, asking him if he used that rock to break out his wife's car window to steal her purse. Needless to say the child was at a loss for words and the neighbor from outer space then went through the neighborhood telling everyone what he assumed my child had done. I knew all the kids in the hood and I always let them hang at my home to keep them out of trouble, my reasoning being if they are here I know whats up and to help prevent them being elsewhere where I don't know what they might be doing. I had been asking the boys to keep an ear open for the bragging that goes on around school about breaking into the neighbors car. After all, it could have been one of my cars as we had three of them parked in the drive during this time and after all the rock was from my flower garden and to get to that rock they had to be around my cars too. The next time that neighbor came knocking like a bull with a red face and fire shooting out of his nostrils I happened to answer the door. I ask how I could help him and the cursing started and he wanted to know what I intented to do about his broken window and the missing purse, that was in the car on the seat in plain view (smart huh) Well the boys in the hood had given me some names of some boys who lived not in our neighborhood but on the other side of the hill miles away who were doing a bit of bragging, just the day before, I gave the information to the nasty neighbor from outer space who relayed the information to the police. The police found the lady's cell phone on one of the boys, the case was solved. The shame being that my son, was assumed the guilty one by the nasty red faced bull and anyone in the neighborhood that he could get to listen to him. My cars have never been broken into and I have lived here nearly 20 years but the neighbors from outer space have been broken into 4 to 5 times to date with things being taken from their cars purses, wallets, briefcases, etc. See what I mean about having common sense.
We pretty much ignored each other after that although my 78 year old father was awakened by their fighting, while spending the night at our house sometime around two in the morning. It made me angry but I never said anything to them as they fight quite often and have this cute little game that they play (after yelling and screaming she locks him out, he gets into his car and goes somewhere for all of 10 minutes, probably around the block, then he precedes to bang on the door yelling for her to let him in.) I have heard him call her STUPID and tell her his friends don't like her and have actually heard her call people on the phone to apologize for his behavior. I sure would not have let him in. Now mind you I am not a nosy person, but they are loud and fight outside where one cannot help overhearing. One day while trying to relax on my porch on Sunday, my only day off, he was mowing his lawn and yelling at the top of his lungs, over top the lawn mower (still running) for her to come pick up the (his words) the 50 pounds of dog shit that he didn't want to run over. Another time some $%^* limbs in the yard from the #^&* trees she had planted. I must admit that it is sometimes very humorous and I do have to chuckle, and the dog doo made me laugh until I cried.
The next fiasco was a chimnea, you know a terra cotta chimney that you burn fire logs in outside, while sitting there watching your TV with your buddies like an idiot. I am about 10 feet away from this fire pit and could not open my windows because of the smoke that would come in and set off my smoke alarms and make my house smell terrible. They burned really big pieces of wood and cardboard boxes in the thing in a very unsafe manner and I was really afraid that the sparks might burn down my house. Finally the chimnea broke apart and ended up in the trash. I must admit that I was not to upset about that as my patience was growing thin. Several weeks later they got a new one, this one a metal box with mesh wire on the sides, back and front. The fires got bigger after that and my 100 year old hemlock trees above it started to suffer from the heat with one of them dying and falling onto my house. Then I came home from work one day to find a nasty little note in my mailbox from the wife, who I had tried to like because I felt sorry for her being married to such a nasty bull
with his nasty mouth and what I call shi_Fuc_ fits. These are the words I hear constantly along with the one that takes the lord's name in vain. Anyway, someone had apparently called the Fire Marshall about the fires and I was asked in the note not to do this again and to please talk to her about it instead of calling behind her back and the same with calling the police on them.
Like I said I am nice and do not try to cause anyone else trouble. I did not call the Fire Marshall or the police,
not even one time in all the years that these people from outer space have bothered me. So now I am pissed, I fire off a three page letter telling her the same things I have told you. It was eriely quite for about a month after that, But it has started up again and he still yells at the dogs when they bark, hanging out the windows or door yelling "Shut UP" even though it just makes them bark louder.
If my neighbors are truly not from outer space, I wish the aliens would come and kidnap them and take them to a galaxy far, far, away.
The moral of this story is :::::
Assuming is not a good thing as it makes an ass of you and me.
If you had neighbors like this what would you do?